On June 5, 1981, Joseph Shore and I stood before God, family, and friends and pledged our love and lives to each other—for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death would part us. Ah, the waters that have washed beneath our bridge these past nearly 23 years. All the sights these once young, star-filled eyes have seen. In all of my wildest dreams, I never could have imagined what God would have in store for this journey of ours.
The story of our journey could never be mine alone, or Joe’s alone, but it is His story—born in the heart of God before time began. But I’ll be honest with you, I haven’t always seen that truth so clearly.
We are both products of a very similar home/church background. I came into our marriage as a Christian deeply desiring a “godly” home. Whatever that was. You see, I also came into the marriage being a “paw-parrot” Christian. I could say all the right words I had heard all my life. I could do all the right things that were expected of me. I was the compliant child after all. Problem was, I never really thought about anything in my life, or realized I could have a real “living-breathing” relationship with God. Joe came into our marriage with his “best foot forward” too—looking good and sounding good. But it only took a matter of days, and I just knew something was not quite right. There was a definite conflict of “spirits”. It wasn’t just a case of “newly married—gotta make adjustments here”.
For the next 14 years I mostly lived a life of quiet desperation, not knowing how to deal with what was happening in our lives. I so wanted to feel that I was walking the same path as my husband, but I wanted to “live for God” too. I? was torn between two worlds. Even in the times I wanted to “cut and run”, God was very much at work in our lives.
I began to pray a very specific prayer regarding Joseph. In my mind’s eye, I would picture a man grabbing another man by the collar and hoisting him off the ground. I would pray that God would draw up this self-sufficient “island-unto-himself” kind of man eyeball to eyeball, and nose to nose so that he could not see or trust in anything else, save Christ.
In February of 1985 we had our first head-on collision with PSC, Joe’s chronic liver disease. Amy had just turned two years old. Joe’s eyes and skin turned yellow. Within a month’s time he had lost so much weight, he had to wear suspenders to keep his pants on. He endured two surgeries within that time frame.
In 1994 I left my “teaching career” of ten years to be home with much-prayed-for baby #2, Jenny Lynn. In October of that same year, Joe went to Roanoke, VA for a job interview, and I was on my face on the living room floor, begging God to do something that would change our family forever. By January 1st, 1995, we were relocated from Kernersville to Concord, North Carolina. Later in the year, Joe went into cardiac arrest during a chemically induced stress test. He had stints placed in two clogged arteries. A third was left alone in hopes it would be ok without intervention.
In December of ’95 Joe wrote a letter to our Sunday School teacher and gave me a copy of it. The heart of the letter was the realization that he didn’t care for the things of God because he didn’t even know God. By the middle of January ’96 one thing was very evident. Joe was in Christ—he was a new creature. The old things were truly passed away, and all things had become new.
In February we learned that God was blessing us with baby #3. Joe was feeling just a little ganged-up on when Christiana Michelle arrived in September! Our lives were changing in the most awesome ways as God became the head of our home. He was gathering around us an ever growing circle of friends and continuing to unfold a series of events that were “God things”—we never could have worked out things in our lives the way we saw Him doing it!
Micah joined our family in July of ’98. He was named for Micah 6:8, “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”
The very next month after Micah was born, Joe was very obviously not well. We soon learned that the old PSC problem had returned. Indeed, it had been doing its damaging work all through the years. We were told that Joe would not get well without a transplant. The news thoroughly shocked us. At first Joe said he would not go through such a major ordeal, but god really softened and encouraged his heart. Within days of that initial announcement, Joe pulled me aside with a new message. We would not pray for a specific outcome in the situation, but only that God would receive glory for whatever happened in our lives.
The four years that followed were at once the very best of times and the very worst of times. We have walked together through our darkest days, but our path has been lit by the mercy, love, and grace of a tender Father God. In spite of it all, I’m glad our path has not been one of ease, for we have come to know Christ, and the fellowship of His suffering. In our weakness, He has been our strength. In our insufficiency, He has been our all sufficient One. In our smallness He has been so great. He is so very good—all the time. And no matter what will come tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, we are safe in His keeping. May we ever bear witness to His great faithfulness, and bring glory to Him all the days of our lives.
Than Jesus blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus name.
On Christ, the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.